Myths and Science Behind “Choosing” Your Child’s Gender

Old wive’s tales abound about how to try to conceive a child of a specific gender. Many swear by them, and others call them nonsense. There is also some science (and very expensive treatments) that help you attempt to select the gender of your as-yet unborn baby.

So what is the advice? How can you try to conceive the daughter or son that you’ve always felt you’ve wanted or choose the gender of child you haven’t had yet?

As far as the old folk wisdom goes, there is advice ranging from what to eat–lots of red meat for boys and sweets, fish, and veggies for girls–to how to make love–standing up or rear entry for a boy and missionary position or woman on top for a girl. And then, of course, there is always the influence of the moon–make love when there is a 1/4 moon in the sky for a boy or a full moon if you’re trying to conceive a girl. Still others say the date is important, that if you conceive on an odd day of the month your baby will be male and if on an even day, your baby will be female.

Of course, the scientific community has also weighed in on how to attempt to select the gender of your children, and they, too, have come up with some interesting ideas. If you truly want to select the gender of your child, some doctors may suggest Pre-Genetic Diagnosis (PGD). Originally, PGD was developed to help couples avoid genetic diseases that were prevalent in their families; however, the process is now available on a very limited basis for non-medical “gender selection.” Besides serious ethical issues, the procedure is very expensive and can be painful.

Other more accessible and ethical scientific ideas include The Shettles Method, which deals with the timing of intercourse. Many swear by it and say that Dr Landrum Shettles’ ideas helped them have the gender of child that they planned. His theory works like this: the Y chromosome sperm (”male sperm”) swim faster but don’t live as long as the X chromosome sperm (”female sperm”). Therefore, Dr Shettles suggests that if you want to try to conceive a boy, have sex as close as possible to ovulation. If you are trying to conceive a girl, however, try to have sex a few days (2-4) before ovulation. The claim is that this method is 75% effective, but you have to keep in mind that you already have a 50% chance of having the gender of baby you’re trying to conceive.

When you get down to it, unless you actually manipulate the fertilization of the egg, there is no guarantee on what gender of child you will be blessed with. But, then again, maybe you really were always destined to be the mother of all boys or all girls. Either way, we have to be sure not to let our desire for a son or daughter override our joy at simply being blessed to be parents.